Remember.

**POST ORIGINALLY WRITTEN 1/13/11**

Chris and I have managed to secure our spot as the inactive-active family in the ward. We go to church every Sunday! Unfortunately, we only end up at our own ward a quarter of the time. I figure the benefits of having VIP Visiting Teachers, and special "attention" (ya know, the "projects" always get a little extra TLC) is just too easy to pass up.

In all reality, we are gone so much, because we have an alternative lifestyle that we live in San Diego every once in a while. Chris grew up down there, and we are tempted far too often with the loves-of-our-lives that still reside in SD County.

So we are gone a lot.

But I'm getting off track.

Our ward is wonderful. Awesome. I love it. VERY MUCH. We are so lucky to live so close to so many inspiring, outgoing, lovely people. When I think of moving away (say what?) my heart only feels heavy.

Ok, I'm getting side tracked again.

One Sunday, I walked into Relief Society. My good friend Ginger was teaching the lesson and handed me a slip of paper, while asking if I would mind reading a quote. Without thinking twice I said, "Of course!" then I proceeded to my seat. I decided to take a look-see at the slip; my heart did that heavy-beating-I'm-sure-everyone-can-hear-because-it's-pounding-so-hard type of beating.

And then I started shaking. URGH! I do this super annoying thing when I'm nervous where I SHAKE. SHAKE!! Come on!! As if anything more deflating could happen to someones self respect. Gosh, I hate it. So there I was shaking like I had just stuck my finger in light socket. I knew that I wouldn't be able to read the words on the paper. It was going to be ugly.

Lo and behold my time came.

And I couldn't open my mouth. The words wouldn't come. The sweet lady sitting next to me must have figured I didn't know how to read, because she kindly whispered, "I can do it??" Somehow my brain tapped into my voice box and I started to read:

"Find the compensatory blessings in your life when, in the wisdom of the Lord, He deprives you of something you very much want. To the sightless or hearing impaired, He sharpens the other senses. To the ill, He gives patience, understanding, and increased appreciation for others' kindness. With the loss of a dear one, He deepens the bonds of love, enriches memories, and kindles hope in a future reunion. You will discover compensatory blessings when you willingly accept the will of the Lord and exercise faith in Him."

-Elder Richard G. Scott

"Finding Joy in Life"

I'm pretty sure I was the only one that heard any of it, because not only was I shaking like a maraca by this point, I was snorting, sobbing and just gross.

It was only a matter of hours before, that I was driving back with the fam from San Diego, racing to make it to church on time because we hadn't been to our own ward since before Christmas. I had declared that this was our year;something good better happen! Because 2010 was lousy. It really kicked me when I was down. I was whining about this and that, crying here and there, and just feeling pathetic. There was a moment of silence in the car, after the boys passed out, and we were in between Orange County and SD. Ya know? The ugly military base part. I decided to take my grief to the Lord. I was sick of my bad attitude, and felt it was permeating into my life. It was getting old.

I begged for the Lord to show me the good part. The happy.

My happy!

The answer came instantly. I wanted to crawl under a rock. A little chastisement was about.

2010 was the year the Lord took me in his arms. And carried me.

I felt him.

I knew him.

I was blessed beyond anything comparable. My relationship with my Savior is the greatest gift. What else more could I have ever asked for? While I ached to the very core of my soul during the holidays, because the gift I wanted most was not going to be wrapped up under the tree this year, or ever, I should have been shouting from the roof tops that I was the luckiest girl of all.

I know my Savior lives.

And loves me, too.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY OL' FRIEND.

Hope you feel blessed today.

He loves you.