I will try to fix you.

I was on bed rest for six weeks before Walt was born. After the first month wrapped up, my doctors threatened to hospitalize me. I had lost 12 pounds, and their "at home efforts" were not proving fruitful. I managed to beg and plead my case, striking a bargain: COMPLETE BEDREST, under the condition that if I were to loose one more pound, I would be hospitalized, no questions asked.

That day my little boys were shipped off to San Diego to be with my in-laws. It broke my heart. I was left home, remaining in bed, day in and day out; missing my boys like crazy! All the while, I was able to bond with my son-to-be...

In order to not go totally insane (only partially), I had to become quite creative. I started sending out mass texts: ANY SUGGESTIONS? Each person responding with their favorite online activity, book to read, etc. After I would complete one TV series online, I would search for another.

So You Think You Can Dance became a front runner.

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Tonight I decided to watch the finale for the show. During this episode, they invite each judge, and a few different choreographers from the show, to pick their favorite performance from the season. Each selection is then re-performed to the viewers delight. One re-performance after another performed, as I smiled and nodded.

Then, came this performance... I remembered back to when I saw the first time it was originally performed. I thought it was nice, but it didn't really push any buttons, or ring any bells. Here we are, simply a few weeks later, and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

The choreographer's objective was to depict the relationship between a son and his mother: how the son helps to carry his mother through an insurmountable obstacle in her life.

Ah ha. Sweet, sweet, sweet tender mercies.

Keep on sending them my way. They never get old.

Tonight, after my bambinos were tucked into bed, I crawled into the same bed that I spent so much time fighting for my little guys life --- where we fought together, really; my body still slowly healing from his short life lived.

And I guess we are still fighting this. Together.

Here are the lyrics to the song:

When you try your best but you don't succeed

When you get what you want but not what you need

When you feel so tired but you can't sleep

Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face

When you lose something you can't replace

When you love someone but it goes to waste

Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below

When you're too in love to let it go

But if you never try you'll never know

Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face

When you lose something you cannot replace

Tears stream down your face

And I

Tears stream down your face

I promise you I will learn from my mistakes

Tears stream down your face

And I

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you