Oh, my dear Hugh

**Originally written 6/27/09**

Oh. Oh. Oh.


I have so much to say, but I need to ignore all of that for now.


I just had one of those moments. You know? The one that will forever be etched into my heart for... forever.


My dear sweet Hugh.



Oh. Oh. Oh.


There really simply aren't words. I adore you. So very much. My chest physically hurts when I think of you, because the way you make my heart swell.


You are my gem. My precious piece of heaven. I just can't grasp the right words to really capture what I feel for you...

Your father gave you a gift he gave to your brother. Next time we see him, you can thank him.


Asthma.

The coughing.


The wheezing.

The constant snot all over your face.

Tonight I heard you moaning and coughing up a storm a couple hours after I put you down. I went in to see if I could comfort you... we layed down in the bed and just cuddled you.



And you stared at me.


You didn't squirm, you didn't whine, you didn't fuss. You let me hold you, and you just stared at me. Eyes wide open. Not even moving an inch.



As your chest raised up and down, and your body slowly took in each breath, you just sat, lovingly studying my face.

And we locked eyes for a good solid half hour.

.It was perfect.

I kept repeating how much I loved you. I don't know if you even blinked during that wonderful time together. We just stared at each other.

I let my finger trace your face, across your fore head, around your chubby cheeks, over your chin, and back and I quietly sang to you:

I am a child of God,
And he has sent me here,
Has given me an earthly home
With parents kind and dear.

Lead me, guide me, walk beside me,
Help me find the way.
Teach me all that I must do
To live with him someday.

I am a child of God.
His promises are sure;
Celestial glory shall be mine
If I can but endure.

I want to teach you everything.

I want to give you the world.

And I want to give you the gift to endure...

And the tears poured down my own cheeks as I thought of all my very own weaknesses, and you sweetly, and calmly just stared back at me. You didn't move!! Ah, I wanted to freeze time.

As thoughts bounced around in my head, I couldn't imagine what life will send your way... I want you to always know how much I love you. So much. So much.

Life is so hard sometimes, but the world is our playground; this is only the beginning;

...if we can but endure.

Thank you for being with me tonight.
Thank you for coming to our family.
Thank you for being my happy.

******************