More for documentational purposes

So, I have tried very hard to not turn this blog into a pregnancy documentary. Yes, I'm pregnant. And, of course, couldn't be more thrilled. But, you haven't wanted to know how many times I've thrown up, or how my pelvic bones actually feel like a giant bowling ball is crushing them into a million pieces simply by the act of walking. Right? Right.

However, there are some things I want to put down, so that we don't forget this adventure. And, we all know, if it hasn't been blogged, it hasn't really happened. So, this is going to be a very boring, informational post, for only my own record keeping. I'm almost too embarrassed to post, but I can't just not do it. So, sorry to be selfish this time around...

This pregnancy has been very different. It's pretty much black and white, when compared to J. With J, I was deathly ill (in and out of the hospital every other week), however, one day, out of the blue, I was perfect. Completely perfect. Not a negative symptom to be found. It was blessed! I'm not kidding you---one day, throwing up every 45 minutes (not even slightly an exaggeration), even through the night like clock work, and then BAM!! at 14 weeks, never again. Never. Anyway, my point is THIS pregnancy...focus.

This time around, I started out very nauseous, and very tired. Not actually symptoms I had with J, strange enough. And I'm talking tired, like really really tired. Being tired is something I can deal with---a little annoying, but do-able. However, then other things started happening. I'm really anemic, and when I'm pregnant, it just doubles over. As an even happier note, I become quite hypoglycemic. Not a super big deal (in my head, at least), because it seems to be that way with alot of pregnant people. However, then I started blacking out, and then passing out. Not so awesome. I would be walking, and then out of no where, everything would go black, my whole body would go numb, and I would wake up crying within a minute later, and then about a minute after that get all my feeling back. Scary?? Ya. Really.

The first time this happened, it really scared the heck out of me. I was with Chris and J, when all of a sudden, everything went black. It was like when you stand up too fast or something. It was weird, but I wasn't scared. I was walking towards Chris, and realized that my whole body was going numb so I just yelled out for him. Then, next thing I know, I'm laying on the ground with Chris over me, asking me questions, and I'm crying. Strange thing, too, is that when I come too, it takes about a minute or two to get all my feeling back. Very frustrating. It freaks J out, too...

A couple days after the first time this happened, it started happening daily. Then, more than once daily. The first trimester, and into the second, I was very cautious about where I was going (I never drove), and really just tried to keep it easy, because I didn't want to have a "spell" when I was alone with J. That's what I was most scared of. It became so routine, that I actually could tell when it was coming on. My vision always got blurry before I totally blacked out, and my head felt like it was in a whirl pool; so, as soon as that would happen, I knew I had about half a minute to get myself into a safe position because when my body goes numb, it just goes limp, and I fall. Generally, I would just sit. If there was a chair, or couch near by, that's where I would head, otherwise, I would just sit, whether it be in the middle of the hall, sidewalk, whatever. It was alot better then falling onto the ground.

Chris gave me a blessing at the beginning of all of this. It was very emotional for both of us. However, the blessing said that it would not harm the baby I was carrying, and I would know how to help myself. He also blessed me that J would never be harmed from it. I was so scared this would happen while I was holdig him, or walking with him, or just alone in public with him, and he would freak out, or worse, wander off. True to it's word, miraculously (literally) I never was alone with J in public when it came on, THANK GOODNESS, and most often, he was either off napping, or I was with Chris, and he would distract him. J only saw it happening a handful of times, for which I am grateful.

Like I said, it got to the point, where I could know what to do, when I felt it coming on. It seemed to happen once in the morning, and once at night. So, I would almost wait for my morning issue to happen at home, and then once it did, start my day with J. Then, at night, Chris was usually around, so I didn't have to worry so much. My doctor put me on some medication right away, but it just seemed to make things worse, as far as throwing up, nausea, head aches, etc. Also, I was so antsy about taking anything, being pregnant and all.

Finally, it was 27 weeks that I had my last issue. My doctor thought I would just "grow out" of them, since it obviously was something induced by being pregnant. So, once my body figured out this pregnancy thing, maybe the glitches in my brain would work themselves out, too. Otherwise, they would have to do alot more tests, once the baby was born. I was so grateful when I had my first day, black-out free. It was such a weight lifted off my shoulder. Then, I remember when I went a WEEK, and nothing happened!! I stopped taking all my medication, and all the other symptoms left too, and by 30 weeks I felt human again.

This isn't something that I have been super open about. I think only a hand full of people knew. To be quite honest, it's because it scared the day lights out of me. While it was all happening, I acted like it was no big deal, but at night I would just sob to Chris, because it really was just so scary to me. Frightening. I didn't know what was really going on. Anyway, it's been months since that whole fiasco subsided, and I figure it's time to post about it, so I don't forget that really odd road-bump. It already seems a little like an unrealistic dream. I'm grateful for the priesthood, which continued to bless and comfort me during a very emotional time; even though it didn't make everything better, it comforted me knowing that, eventually, things will "work themselves out naturally, without any permanent damage", and that was enough to hang onto for a while. It sure was unusual, and unexplainable. It's interesting how all our bodies react to different things. I mean, I was pregnant before, and NEVER had any of these weird issues.

Maybe it means I'm having a girl??