Adoption Bloggers Interview Project

November is National Adoption Month. But, you knew that right?? I mean, from all my blogging this month, it should have been clear...

Moving on.

Welcome to the Adoption Bloggers Interview Project!

HOW DOES IT WORK?

The Interview Project is open to any blogger

-who writes at least occasionally about adoption

-is interested in meeting a fellow writer with different views and experiences

-wants to welcome someone into their own online space.

Bloggers were paired off at random.

We got to know each other through our blogs and interviewed each other by email.

TODAY everyone will post the interviews on their blogs.

SEE THE 2011 INTERVIEW PAIRS HERE.

I had the chance to interview Elena Duncan from "Good News Adoption"

She has become an amazing adoption advocate in her community, and through her blog. They adopted their gorgeous baby girl Julia two years ago (who just so happens to be part Cherokee like our little G-man). I absolutely loved reading the story of how their baby girl became a part of their life.

So lovely.

AND, they are hoping to adopt again!! I feel giddy, anxious, and sincerely happy when families are hoping to adopt. It's a brutally-fantastic journey, that not everyone experiences. I wish them the best of luck!!

I'm so glad I got to peak into the life of a beautiful family.

What did your friends/ family initially think about your choice to adopt?

A week after first meeting with our adoption counselor we invited our families out to dinner and we gave everyone a letter to read that announced that we were hoping to adopt and invited each family member to participate in making a 100 Good Wishes Quilt for our baby. Every one was happy and some tears were shed. We answered a few questions about openness which helped to ease some pre-existing notions about adoption. Having experienced adoption through our bringing Julia into our family they now have an even greater understanding of it. And offer even greater support.

Has anyone ever said anything hurtful to you about your family? How doyou respond to the prodding, negative, or ignorant questions?

I haven't ever had anyone say anything negative specifically about our family but, I have heard people say that they could never adopt. That statement makes me sad. It seems that they feel somehow adoption is less than desirable. I have one word for those folks, WRONG! Most people I mention adoption to our very supportive of it and treat us no differently than other families.

Your daughter is beautiful! Do people often assume she is your biological daughter, or do people assume she adopted?

Thank you! We think she is gorgeous too! People who don't know us do assume she is our biological daughter. For some silly reason, it was important to me that she look like us. I feel like Heavenly Father knows that and indulged us by blessing us with Julia.

Since your daughter is Native American, did you have any problems with ICWA? Did Indian courts get involved?

We were fortunate to prove to the Cherokee Tribe that Michael was a descendant of an ancestor who was biologically Cherokee and was also adopted by a Cherokee. There was an ICWA court hearing that our counselor attended about a month after Julia was born where the information was presented and the Cherokee Tribe allowed the adoption to continue.

How open is your adoption with your daughter's birth parents/family?

We email our birth mom once a month and include pictures from the previous month. Our birth mom responds every few months. We know she is grateful for the pictures and continues to want them, it is just hard for her to write back every month. She shares the emails and pictures with members of her family. We want Julia to meet her birth mom when both of them feel ready for that. We were able to meet a few members of Kate's family when Julia was born and treasure those memories. We have a great amount of respect and love for her and her family. We feel as if our family has grown.

Do you have a relationship with your daughter's birth father?

We do not have a relationship with Julia's birth father. The choice to place Julia for adoption was very difficult for him and it is easier for him not to communicate with us.

Congratulations on being approved to adopt again!! How are you proactive about your adoption search? Do you use pass along cards,other websites to get more exposure, etc?

We are filled with excitement about adopting again. We have a profile on our agency website, on ParentProfiles.com, and on hopingtoadopt.org. We also have a website: www.michaelandelena.com. We are interested in doing pass along cards but, we haven't gotten around to doing that yet. Otherwise, I feel like advocating for adoption in general helps more couples be able to adopt because more birth moms find out about the option of adoption. I was able to see a Birth Mother Panel at our last Southeast FSA Conference. Each birth mom expressed that adoption was not very much communicated as an option to them. Since then it has been very important to me to advocate for it as much as I can.

Is there anything you would have changed about your adoption plan (placement, openness, meetings, etc)?

Roughly two weeks after Julia was born our birth mom went to Court to sign for Julia's Adoption in front of a judge. We were supposed to meet her and her counselor right after so Kate could give us some things she had for Julia. That same morning we had to pack up after staying in our vacation rental and drive over an hour to meet her. We were late and she had scheduled her Doctor appointment to follow her court appointment and couldn't wait for us to arrive. I wish that we had made that. I could have given her one last hug.

What is the best thing about adoption?

The best thing about adoption is that it makes beauty of ashes. It gives the adoptive couple the opportunity to parent, it gives the birth mother the opportunity to pursue her worthy goals, and most importantly it gives adoptees the opportunity to have a stable, strong environment to grow up and flourish in.

What is the best thing about being a Mother to an adopted child?

I have to be honest the best thing to me about being a Mother to an adopted child is that I didn't have to go through a physical pregnancy ;) Otherwise, being a mother to an adopted child is not much different than mothering a biological child.

How and when will you tell Julia that she is adopted?

We tell Julia often that we adopted her. We tell her about her birth family, we show her pictures and tell her the story of her birth. We pray for her birth family each night with her and express our love for them. I am working on making a Picaboo book that details her whole story for her. It is so essential that adopted children know Chapter One of their life story. It is a gift to them not to have to wonder or be shocked to discover things they didn't know about themselves.