December 5th.

Today is Walt's due date. To say I feel odd, would be fairly accurate. I actually slept in until ten. Every time I began to awake, I would frantically look for the snooze button within my my brain. "Just a little longer."

Because in my dreams, my boy is with us. My three boys, happy, running, playing. All of us. Together.

I get to hold him.

I get to run my fingers through his hair.

See him smile.

and be in. my. family.

Right where he belongs.

Today would 'a, could 'a been a day to start that time together.

Instead, I look into his eyes, rock him, and wipe his tears... in my dreams.

So, when I finally started waking for the last time, I hear two boys squealing with delight; they are throwing the Christmas tree ornaments down the hall. Happy. Running. Playing.

I smile, as one tear rolls down my cheek.

Then I pull the covers off, stretch out my tired limbs, and run to join my happy, beautiful family.

Because today I am grateful for what I have, and look forward to what I will...

I love you my boy.

Sweet dreams.