Heavy, achy, fierce.

My heart is just heavy today.

heavy |ˈhevē|

adjective ( heavier , heaviest )

1 of great weight; difficult to lift or move

• [ predic. ] weighed down; full of something

Not sure, exactly, what it is.

It comes and goes; ebs and flows.

This current wave just seems to be hanging around.

And it makes my arms achy.

achy |ˈākē|

adjective [ predic. ]

suffering from continuous dull pain

I am so confident, and content, knowing that Walt lives; and even more comforted, knowing that he was never meant to stay here any longer than he did.

But, he was my baby.

And I really wish he didn't have to go.

I miss him something fierce.

fierce |fi(ə)rs|adjective ( fiercer , fiercest )• (of a feeling, emotion, or action) showing a heartfelt and powerfulintensityPHRASESsomething fierce informal to a great and almost overwhelming extent

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Immediately after I typed up this post, I pushed "SAVE AS DRAFT". I laid in bed while my boys slept, wondering how I would get over this drowning feeling.

I checked my e-mail, and had this gem greeting me:

... but just know, walt loves you,

and he'll be with you until you can be with him.

Father in heaven needed him,

and figured you were strong enough

to let him go for now...

(A lot of the following is what I wrote back to her, because I simply can not come up with any other words)

Arica. The words "thank you" can not explain what your comment meant to me.

I burst into tears, and haven't stopped.

I have read that comment, over and over.

Your words have pierced my heart.

To this day, nothing has affected me the way this has. And, had I received your comment yesterday, or tomorrow, maybe it would not have had the same affect.

I needed to read those words today. Just now.

It. Is. Exactly. What. I. Needed.

The Lord works in mysterious ways.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.