Chris and I were lucky enough to have Elder Bednar come speak to us at Stake Conference many years ago. I would say, it changed our lives.
He spoke for about an hour and half (seriously), to an overflowing Tabernacle of young-married-students. When he finished, I was left on the edge of my seat, pleading him to continue. He spoke about having his own young family, and memories has from that time in their life. He spoke about the challenges, and excitement in choosing to have a young family. He really leveled himself with us, and I really felt like he was "one of us".
There were about 1.3 million babies in attendance. Or something like that. He said something along the lines of, "Please don't rush out with your crying baby, or get discouraged. Let the cheerios spill on the floor. For this all will pass within a blink of an eye, and you will want to know that these times were lived by you, and not some other person, trying to hurry past these times, in order to live. Live in the now."
At the time, Chris and I longed for our own row of noisy children. I had spent my time wanting and wanting. I had already had three miscarriages. We had been to doctors, put on this regimen, and that schedule. We had done all that we could. We spent our time wishing and hoping, and planning for "the better days". And we were missing living.
Chris and I left edified, and determined to LIVE.
We didn't have J for another year and a half.
But we actually started living. Like real life, living. We threw out the phrases, "I can't wait until...." and "All I want is...". Seriously. We just don't say them around here. And it lifted the dark clouds and the hours wasted on wishing.
Instead, we started living. We changed our minds to enjoy every day. Every. Day. I know people say that a lot, but it takes real work to really interwine that into the core of your soul. In every instance, we tried to live. To soak in all we could.
My life was made, when I started living. And that's kind of who we are. I'm glad I had all those experiences. I think it has made me a better mother. It really takes a lot to string me out, or make me feel overwhelmed.
Right now, I am a mother.
And right now, I am a mother every day.
And I'm grateful. I really am. And I'm so glad that when I say that, it radiates from me. It's not a wish, but the real song of my heart. Because you would think after changing so many diapers, wiping away so much snot, doing so much laundry, it would get daunting. But, since we stopped longing for the future, those many years ago, it's set up my life so that I can enjoy this.
All of this.
All the delightful madness.
He spoke for about an hour and half (seriously), to an overflowing Tabernacle of young-married-students. When he finished, I was left on the edge of my seat, pleading him to continue. He spoke about having his own young family, and memories has from that time in their life. He spoke about the challenges, and excitement in choosing to have a young family. He really leveled himself with us, and I really felt like he was "one of us".
There were about 1.3 million babies in attendance. Or something like that. He said something along the lines of, "Please don't rush out with your crying baby, or get discouraged. Let the cheerios spill on the floor. For this all will pass within a blink of an eye, and you will want to know that these times were lived by you, and not some other person, trying to hurry past these times, in order to live. Live in the now."
At the time, Chris and I longed for our own row of noisy children. I had spent my time wanting and wanting. I had already had three miscarriages. We had been to doctors, put on this regimen, and that schedule. We had done all that we could. We spent our time wishing and hoping, and planning for "the better days". And we were missing living.
Chris and I left edified, and determined to LIVE.
We didn't have J for another year and a half.
But we actually started living. Like real life, living. We threw out the phrases, "I can't wait until...." and "All I want is...". Seriously. We just don't say them around here. And it lifted the dark clouds and the hours wasted on wishing.
Instead, we started living. We changed our minds to enjoy every day. Every. Day. I know people say that a lot, but it takes real work to really interwine that into the core of your soul. In every instance, we tried to live. To soak in all we could.
My life was made, when I started living. And that's kind of who we are. I'm glad I had all those experiences. I think it has made me a better mother. It really takes a lot to string me out, or make me feel overwhelmed.
Right now, I am a mother.
And right now, I am a mother every day.
And I'm grateful. I really am. And I'm so glad that when I say that, it radiates from me. It's not a wish, but the real song of my heart. Because you would think after changing so many diapers, wiping away so much snot, doing so much laundry, it would get daunting. But, since we stopped longing for the future, those many years ago, it's set up my life so that I can enjoy this.
All of this.
All the delightful madness.
Because I know, in a blink of an eye, it will all be gone.
THANK YOU. This is exactly what I need to hear right now.
ReplyDeleteI say those words way too much! I am so glad you wrote this. i need to do better! "Let the cheerios spill"
ReplyDeleteThat's really beautiful Taylor! I agree, now is the time to live. I find myself wondering and waiting for certain things to happen... to heck with that! I keep trying to remind myself of this, especially now. So thank you for putting it so beautifully!
ReplyDeleteI love reading your posts...I am sorry for all the trouble you have had with miscarriages..then and now. You always leave me a little teary eyed. I wish I could have heard that talk but thanks for giving the jist of it. It kinda reminds me of president Monsons talk two conferences ago "Finding Joy in the Journey." Thanks for the reminder.
ReplyDeleteThank you. Really. Thank you. Goosebump worthy.
ReplyDeleteThanks for writing this Taylor. I often wonder how you do it? How you are such a loving a patient mother...and now I know your secret. I'm really going to try to put this into practice today. Thanks so much.
ReplyDeletei totally remember that talk... it was just as inspiring for me too. what a great reminder to live in the now.
ReplyDeletei love it! I am finally doing that...throwing out the planning the future and just enjoying the now fully! thanks for this, it was a great reminder for me!
ReplyDelete