Most recent doctors appointment on Wednesday. Chris is taking the picture saying, "Stick it out! Stick it out farther! There ya go...." hence the awkward looking pose, and questionable look on my face. Whatever. As if any other time in a humans life, it's appropriate to take pictures of their ever-growing abdomen. I don't think I'll ever find "belly shots" normal. Sorry.My dear baby,
There are some things I need you to know:
Doctor appointments are a very routine thing, while awaiting your pending birth. We do the same thing, each time, and if nothing is wrong, they pat me on my back, sending us on our way, reminding us to make your next appointment in two weeks. Pretty easy.
I suprise myself that I cease to be amazed at the sound of your heart beat. Every doctor appointment still brings this humbling feeling that overwhelms me. It's still a very emotional thing. Still.
I thought I would be used to it by now.
But each time I hop onto the observation table (they are not beds), expose my belly, and the doctor whips out her magic heart beat wand, I still get anxious. I still hold my breath. Still.
Then, I hear it. I always glance over to your Papa, give him a wink, and let the tears come. I'm ok with it being awkward, each time, as our doctor is standing there thinking, "...this is so routine..."
Even just the simple, "routine" activities of this pregnancy amaze me, and bless my heart. The thing is, it actually suprises me, that I still feel this way. I figured I would feel more of, "been there, done that," especially since we actually have done this all before. But no. I still treasure everything, as if it were my first; as if it were as miraculous, and precious as the first. Still.
For I know you are you. A spirit in heaven, that has chosen our humble family to come to. Thank you. Deeply. I'm so grateful for the opportunity Chris and I have to bring another little human into this world. I hate even typing out these last few sentences, because it sounds so mudane, so what-you-are-supposed-to-say. I can't quite capture what it really means to me. Still.
There are some things I need you to know:
Doctor appointments are a very routine thing, while awaiting your pending birth. We do the same thing, each time, and if nothing is wrong, they pat me on my back, sending us on our way, reminding us to make your next appointment in two weeks. Pretty easy.
I suprise myself that I cease to be amazed at the sound of your heart beat. Every doctor appointment still brings this humbling feeling that overwhelms me. It's still a very emotional thing. Still.
I thought I would be used to it by now.
But each time I hop onto the observation table (they are not beds), expose my belly, and the doctor whips out her magic heart beat wand, I still get anxious. I still hold my breath. Still.
Then, I hear it. I always glance over to your Papa, give him a wink, and let the tears come. I'm ok with it being awkward, each time, as our doctor is standing there thinking, "...this is so routine..."
Even just the simple, "routine" activities of this pregnancy amaze me, and bless my heart. The thing is, it actually suprises me, that I still feel this way. I figured I would feel more of, "been there, done that," especially since we actually have done this all before. But no. I still treasure everything, as if it were my first; as if it were as miraculous, and precious as the first. Still.
For I know you are you. A spirit in heaven, that has chosen our humble family to come to. Thank you. Deeply. I'm so grateful for the opportunity Chris and I have to bring another little human into this world. I hate even typing out these last few sentences, because it sounds so mudane, so what-you-are-supposed-to-say. I can't quite capture what it really means to me. Still.
...I guess all I can really think to say is, I already love you so very much.
That is so sweet Taylor. I've been thinking about you a lot lately! I'm glad that you guys are doing well. Good luck with this little one coming soon! I think that it's wonderful that you still cherish those little moments and are grateful to have this baby with you! I think that you will be a more humble, better mother for it!
ReplyDeleteI am always amazed by pregnancy and parenthood. It is such a blessing. I really hate it when women complain constantly about how much they hate being pregnant. It makes me sad. Its nice to see someone enjoying it and realizing how miraculous it really is. Good for you. I am so happy for you and Chris!
ReplyDeleteP.S. You're tiny.