I'm a magician

A friend asked me the other day why I want to have my kids so close together. It sort of surprised me. I guess I never really thought of it any other way. I grew up really close in age to my siblings (most of us about 15 months a part), and I wouldn't have had it any other way. I am a twin, too, so my parents had 5 kids under 4 at one point. I'm sure the mayhem must have seemed like too much at some point, but for me, as far as I can remember, it was pretty ideal.

I find it funny when other moms with multiple kids make sarcastic comments like, "Oh, good luck!" or whatever else that comes with the territory. I just laugh to myself and think, "Ya... that input is about 7 months too late." It's not like I am thinking about having another kid, or throwing around the idea. I am well into this gig--no turning back now. I spoke to a mother-of-two last night at some get together. She really uplifted me on the subject. She said she loved the spacing of her kids, and was so positive about the whole experience. I'm not an idiot. I get it. Two kids is going to be "harder" than one... I suppose. If you look at as a mathematical equation at least. But I don't.

I guess our unique road into this parenting world has really changed my perception on the whole subject, which, ironically enough, makes me thankful for that broken-hearted past. It makes me revel in the magic and miracle of children.

J is getting bigger every day. Sometimes when I go to get him out of his crib, I just can't believe this BOY is mine; for he is no longer a baby. However, he is still my baby, and I think I finally get that, how parents think that way. Oh, he brings me such joy. Being the emotional time bomb I am, often times I will put him down for bed, or a nap, and become frantic about how big he is getting and end up just staring him, examining this creation. I just want to freeze time, because I know some day he will be big and grown up, far too quickly, and he won't ever quite realize how my world, my heart, my soul was so enter-twined with his simple existence. Yet, I continue to feed him, and he continues to grow...

I am thrilled to give J a baby sibling. I haven't forgotten the magic that is children.

I hope I never do.