This is not one of those spunky posts.

If you're looking for spunk, tune back tomorrow. HA! So, while doing my weekly blog stalking, I ran into a few different thought provoking things. After looking around, and reading what other people had to say about life, I wanted to pipe in, and just put some thoughts down. These are my mixed up, muddled thoughts, rolling around in my head. I'm sure they are very skattered, and unorganized, but here they are uncensored.

Long drives always cause thought-provoking-conversation! Talking to my friend yesterday while driving to the North Shore, we were talking about how sometimes people belittle other peoples grief to mean nothing, because they think their burden is far heavier then their neighbors---that no one could be quite as hurt, or in quite as much anguish as them! I have never been one to think that way. In the contrary, I had a conversation with my Mom about how I feel like I belittle my own trials and heartbreaks, thinking, "Ok. I can handle this. But I know I could never handle that." No, I do not think that I have the hardest trials. Not even close! But, I think I need to give myself some credit, and realize, like my friend brought up about another way of thinking, that even though my trials may not be "...that bad..." that they still hurt, and they are still real.

So, with my psychological mind always spinning and brewing, I realized that this is our life. Now. We don't get to start living our life once we finish the pain. But that we need to embrace it, and make it part of our life; that somehow we can learn, by teaching ourselves, how to coexist with the good and the bad. Otherwise, we will get down the road and realize that we sure did waste a lot of time, and gosh, the pain is still there! I read the greatest thing on another blog that I felt was directly for me: ...we'll marvel at how short our wait truly was.... Referring to when she gets to meet her son again who passed away last summer. OH! I just loved that!!

I get so wrapped up in "time" sometimes. I have this invisible time line that needs to (MUST!) pan out, or else!! So of course when life happens, and plans get altered, it throws me through a loop. I get to thinking, "This is not what I wanted, or how I planned life!" I loved what that sweet one-liner did for me. It made me realize that time is only what we make it. It's so relative. I look forward to the day when my grief or trials I will face, will seem like just a "moment" in my life; however, I don't have the "time" to kill, sitting and waiting for that day to happen. I don't want to just do life, I want to live it! I love my life, and I have been so blessed with having so much good engulfed in my existence! I'm grateful and so very happy beyond any life I could have created on my own. I hope when the bad times come, I can remember: Today I may be grieving, but I don't want to wait until I feel good again to live life...

Tomorrow is already gone, so I want to make today worth it!